Yesterday I owned parenting, and decided my life would no longer be ruled by a five year old. Well, at least not every aspect of it.
I’m not going to lie; having two kids has been unimaginably hard. I knew it would be difficult, sometimes. What I didn’t anticipate was it being hard every single day. For the most part, my oldest child has gotten in his groove and has accepted his baby sister, (except when he puts rocks in her crib and tries to smother her with a blanket) but there are a few bad behaviors that he just can’t shake.
Our biggest struggle lately has been when I pick him up from school. He gets in the car with a teenager sized attitude, and a laundry list of complaints and/or demands. It’s just too much. This has been going on for three months. THREE ENTIRE MONTHS with the devil incarnate in my car, every day, like clockwork.
I literally cannot.
Keep in mind that I’m home all day with a newborn with a bad case of colic, and that I’m very noise sensitive, so another screaming child may put me in the loony bend.
OK, it absolutely will put me in the loony bend.
I have tried to pacify his every demand in an attempt to accommodate him, but nothing worked.
I thought he was hungry so I started arriving in carpool line with snacks. Not just snacks; an assortment of snacks. A grab bag of sorts-He didn’t give a shit.
I thought he was thirsty so I started bringing a drink every day -He didn’t give a shit.
I thought maybe he was jealous that he has to go to school, and his sister was getting to spend all day with mommy, so I started showing up with a fabulous activity planned for us to go do-He didn’t give a shit.
He simply didn’t give a shit.
It was clear he wanted to punish me every single day that I picked him up, for some unknown reason, so I did what any good, decent parent would do: I drove him out to the middle of nowhere and left him.
I’m kidding, sort of.
I did pull the car over in an abandoned parking lot after 10 minutes of his blood curdling screams, and him saying things like “don’t talk to me,” and “I don’t like you” and “I can do whatever I want.”
It was by far my boldest parenting move to date.
He looked beyond shocked and confused when I pulled the car over.
“What are you doing, mommy.”
I didn’t actually know what I was going to do once I pulled the car over; I only knew that I couldn’t take one more minute of his disrespect.
I had to pull over for my sanity, and to attempt to stop the madness.
“I love you, but I understand if you want a different family. I pulled over the car to give you a chance to leave if you want to, because you seem unhappy and I want you to be happy. If you decide to stay with the family you were given, I need some things to change; you can no longer speak to me like you have been. You have a big decision to make. Do you want to start over and be nice or do you want to leave?”
SILENCE.
“But I love the family I have.”
“Great, then please stop complaining every day.”
And that was it. The next day when I picked him up he was beyond pleasant. Let’s just hope it lasts because next time I may actually drive off.
KIDDING.
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Go Momma!! I can totally relate to your entire story… Except it’s my 7yr old daughter..Makes me crazy lol
Yes thanks
???????? my husband did the exact same thing to our 5 year old today! I needed to be done!
I just discovered your IG account and that, obviously, led me here where I read this article/blog and I have to tell you…
THANK YOU!
First of all, your sensitivity to noise is called misophonia. My husband has this to the point that going out to eat and being around people who chew with their mouth open just drives him mad. I digress…
My 4YO daughter (my one and only) has been behaving EXACTLY as you described. I often joke that she’s 4 going on 14 because my god is her attitude total SHIT.
I think I would be OKAY with her saying,”I don’t like you!” but this demon screams,”I hate you!!!” and that shit LEGIT hurts my feelings.
My husband likes to remind me,”she’s only 4!”
But I’m close to popping her in the jaw when she’s screaming that with such rage — and for no reason other than: mommy told her no, mommy said not today, mommy suggested she lie down for a nap, you know– parenting.
I have NEVER spoken those horrible words to her. Her dad and I do not speak those words — so it bothers me that she yells them.
She’s also recently started telling me that she wants a new family and that we should find a new kid.
I played her game. She said these things to me (again) before I was taking her to preschool (which, btw, she’s a “delight” there…) and so I said,”SUPER. You can have your new mom pick you up from school today. I’ll be out picking out my new kid and don’t know that I can make it on time to pick you up.”
She started to cry,”Nooo… she won’t know what school I go to or when to pick me up!”
I started laughing.
“Guess you’ll need to get that squared away before you make such ridiculous threats!”
But I like the idea of driving to a large parking lot (abandoned, so no one tries to kidnap her –talk about a backfire situation waiting to happen! Haha!) and offering her the chance to go… and having a very similar conversation with her.
I’m sorry you had to experience that– it’s a gut punch, and never mind the added annoyance of the noise level! Ugh! –but by you sharing this, it helps me realize that it’s common/normal/ a phase… and being somewhat extreme may help correct it.
Thank you.