It’s that dreaded time of the year. The time of year when you suddenly realize that you have failed as the matriarch of the family. It’s time for Christmas cards. Let’s be honest, you aren’t that busy. You should have your shit together, but in typical fashion, you don’t. I mean, how hard can … [Read more…]
I have a crisis at my house. A real catastrophe. I have lost the effing elf on the shelf. You are probably wondering how this can happen, since I’m the one who actually moves him, but when you factor in my sleep deprivation and over-all post partum state, anything is possible. I am just lucky … [Read more…]
October 18th, 2016 (the day of my scheduled C-section) I’m sitting here almost in a trance. Today is the day. The day I never imagined would come. I should be getting everything ready for my big delivery. In fact, my husband is bitching because I am on the computer but I have to do what … [Read more…]
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that parenting and pregnancy do not mix. It’s just impossible to be on your parenting A-game with a parasite, I mean, a beautiful bundle of joy sucking the life out of you 24/7. I’m not saying that my parenting game has ever been strong, but this pregnancy has brought it to an entirely … [Read more…]
Let’s be honest, pregnancy can be a real bitch. You are overweight, uncomfortable, and the fluctuations in hormones are enough to make a semi-sane woman appear certifiable. Not to mention the unexplainable things that are happening to your body make you feel as if you have morphed into an alien from the outer galaxies. Pregnancy … [Read more…]
SO, I don’t know about you but this summer has been the summer of zero f**cks. I’m pregnant. I’m exhausted. And it’s beginning to really sink in that this is our last summer with little Carlos as an only child. I decided early on-or my exhausted body decided for me-that I was running a different … [Read more…]
If you’ve been wondering if I’ve lost my mind with all my recent emotional posts and parenting essays the answer is yes. Sort of. It may appear that I’ve become emotionally unstable, borderline psychotic and overall irrational. But in reality, I’m just pregnant. Social media is such a sham. While it seems like I’ve been … [Read more…]
Summer break is supposed to be fun, relaxing and filled with memories that will last a lifetime. It’s a welcomed break from the routine and redundancy of the normal school year. I had big plans for my time with my child this summer. I decided not to sign him up for anything and to wing … [Read more…]
My child thinks that I have all the time in the world. He is constantly demanding that I put my life on pause so that he can try to do all these things on his own and it takes Fooooooor Freaeeeeking Evaaaaa. It is not limited to buckling the car seat, opening the mail, throwing … [Read more…]
Parenting is hard. On top of keeping the little monsters alive you are forced to do “hard things” like teach them about the scary and uncomfortable things in life. And let me tell you, a 4 year-old is an entirely different kind of beast. I’m often left speechless by the line of questioning that my … [Read more…]
