Today my husband did something unthinkable. Something truly unimaginable. Something that no man should ever do to their wife.
He ate Popeyes without me.
This may seem like nothing to some of you but to us in the South, especially Texas and Louisiana, you don’t come between a woman and her Popeye’s.
Ever.
It is what we in Texas like to call “slap your momma good.”
There really is no other comparison to Popeye’s.
I can practically taste the juicy, Cajun goodness melting in my mouth. I would give my left breast for a breast of that ‘magical meat’, not that it would be a fair trade.
And don’t even get me started on the biscuits, it’s like you died and went to Heaven. I’ve heard that in Heaven there is an overabundance of Popeyes biscuits and that they are calorie free.
I don’t know, it could just be a rumor…..
I also have to give a shout out to the ‘cajun sparkle.’ I am not sure what it’s made of but I think it’s part crack because man that stuff is addicting. I could put it on everything I eat.
EVERYTHING.
My girlfriend steals 50 packets every time she goes to Popeyes and uses it to cook with at home on things that taste like crap normally, like broccoli and brussel sprouts. Basically, the “cajun sparkle’ could make your feet taste like filet mignon.
If you haven’t had Popeyes, you haven’t experienced life.
I said it.
You have literally been dead.
I have heard stories of people losing their lives over fried chicken.
A few weeks ago on the news I saw that a guy got shot over the last drumstick and I have to only assume that it was from Popeyes. I really hope they go easy on him during sentencing because some things are just off limits, you don’t F with someones Popeyes.
I once had a friend get in a huge fight on Facebook because some troll called her a ‘fatty’ for eating Popeyes in a picture she posted. She should’ve punched her in the face, twice. No one should ever be ‘Popeyes shamed.’
Ever.
You get the picture, you don’t mess around with peoples Popeyes……
It was a typical Sunday and Mr. Right said he would take Carlos to the grocery and give me time to work(God Bless Him). I waited and waited for them to return. The hunger started mounting and mounting but I kept thinking to myself, I need to be considerate and wait to eat because that’s what families do, they eat together. I tried to do things to keep my mind off my stomach like make the bed and take a shower. Hell, I even put on make up for no reason on a Sunday, which may be a first. This is the sad reality folks.
All while waiting and waiting……
When they finally returned I asked what we should do for lunch and my husband replied, “oh eat whatever you want, we already stopped and ate at Popeyes.”
Say what…….ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
I was so pissed, I told him I needed some time to myself.
He doesn’t understand and keeps asking things like why am I being so crazy and is it that time of the month.
No buddy, it isn’t but you seriously crossed the line.
I’m not sure what will happen but for now I’m pouting in my room thinking about those tiny bits of bacon in that delicious gravy and the best way to punish my husband. I’ll keep you posted but I think he may be staying on the couch tonight.
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