Yesterday I owned parenting, and decided my life would no longer be ruled by a five year old. Well, at least not every aspect of it.
I’m not going to lie; having two kids has been unimaginably hard. I knew it would be difficult, sometimes. What I didn’t anticipate was it being hard every single day. For the most part, my oldest child has gotten in his groove and has accepted his baby sister, (except when he puts rocks in her crib and tries to smother her with a blanket) but there are a few bad behaviors that he just can’t shake.
Our biggest struggle lately has been when I pick him up from school. He gets in the car with a teenager sized attitude, and a laundry list of complaints and/or demands. It’s just too much. This has been going on for three months. THREE ENTIRE MONTHS with the devil incarnate in my car, every day, like clockwork.
I literally cannot.
Keep in mind that I’m home all day with a newborn with a bad case of colic, and that I’m very noise sensitive, so another screaming child may put me in the loony bend.
OK, it absolutely will put me in the loony bend.
I have tried to pacify his every demand in an attempt to accommodate him, but nothing worked.
I thought he was hungry so I started arriving in carpool line with snacks. Not just snacks; an assortment of snacks. A grab bag of sorts-He didn’t give a shit.
I thought he was thirsty so I started bringing a drink every day -He didn’t give a shit.
I thought maybe he was jealous that he has to go to school, and his sister was getting to spend all day with mommy, so I started showing up with a fabulous activity planned for us to go do-He didn’t give a shit.
He simply didn’t give a shit.
It was clear he wanted to punish me every single day that I picked him up, for some unknown reason, so I did what any good, decent parent would do: I drove him out to the middle of nowhere and left him.
I’m kidding, sort of.
I did pull the car over in an abandoned parking lot after 10 minutes of his blood curdling screams, and him saying things like “don’t talk to me,” and “I don’t like you” and “I can do whatever I want.”
It was by far my boldest parenting move to date.
He looked beyond shocked and confused when I pulled the car over.
“What are you doing, mommy.”
I didn’t actually know what I was going to do once I pulled the car over; I only knew that I couldn’t take one more minute of his disrespect.
I had to pull over for my sanity, and to attempt to stop the madness.
“I love you, but I understand if you want a different family. I pulled over the car to give you a chance to leave if you want to, because you seem unhappy and I want you to be happy. If you decide to stay with the family you were given, I need some things to change; you can no longer speak to me like you have been. You have a big decision to make. Do you want to start over and be nice or do you want to leave?”
“But I love the family I have.”
“Great, then please stop complaining every day.”
And that was it. The next day when I picked him up he was beyond pleasant. Let’s just hope it lasts because next time I may actually drive off.