Spring “Break”

So, much to my surprise, I am actually getting a little “break” this spring break. I pulled a Hail Mary on Sunday and called my parents who live about 3 hours away and asked if they wanted to “maybe, possibly, no pressure of course (hold my breath),” watch Carlos for part of the week. My Dad didn’t say NO right off the bat so I knew this little scheme of mine may actually come to fruition.

He called back and said they would love to. It was all happening….

I don’t know about you but my husband and I daydream about a break from our child ever so often. Not because we don’t want to be with him but because sometimes it’s just nice to only have to wipe your own ass for a couple of days. And be in charge of the remote. And eat spicy foods. And to sleep an entire night, uninterrupted.

In this daydream we talk about all of the amazing things we will do when it’s just “us.”

It will be just like before kids. But even better.

Because now we know we should savor those rare times that we are alone. Since they NEVER happen.

We will go to an amazing, long, “quiet” dinner at a place that doesn’t offer a paper place mat and crayons. We will follow it up with a night cap by a fire somewhere fabulous. We may even call up some of our friends “without kids” and try to meet up with them.

Because the truth is, once you have kids you only see your friends “without kids” for the obligatory baptism or birthday party that they feel forced to attend Or when you are sans the kiddos for a parents night out. They don’t have time for you and your shit show of a family. They have a freaking life. One that involves Galas and Restaurant Openings. One that we cannot even try to compete with. Lets just face the cold hard facts: we just aren’t fun anymore.

I used to be fun. My husband and I could party until 4 am and get up the next day and make it to brunch where we would continue to drink. We went to happy hour everyday on our way home from work. Our weekends consisted of well, absolutely nothing we HAD to do. We had zero people who depended on us. It seems unfathomable now. We would lay around all day Sunday and the biggest decision we had to make was where we should order food from. Those were the days…

Sorry, I’m getting carried away here reminiscing….

We dropped Carlos off with my Dad and burned rubber as we sped away. FREEDOM.

What will we do with our amazing time to ourselves?

I think the dialouge went something like this.

Husband: We should go out tonight. Somewhere that we never get to go. We can get dressed up and call some friends.

Me: It’s Monday.Where would we even go? Who the hell would want to meet up with us? We live in the burbs and any place “cool” is at least a 30 minute drive. We are has-beens. I would have to shower and do my hair and put on make up. I’m so tired (and lazy). Isn’t there a place that delivers filet mignon and martinis?

Husband: SHH (shaking his head)No babe. I’ll just order Chinese.

Me: And watch Downton Abbey?

Husband: Don’t push it.

So our big ¬†“kid-less” night consisted of Chinese delivery and watching Tiny House Hunters. I might add that Tiny House Hunters is SO fascinating to me. I have so many questions for these people.

Why would someone choose to live in a tiny house? Why not just get an apartment? Where do your clothes, shoes and purses go? And where is the junk drawer? I guess you don’t have clutter or receive mail in a tiny house. That is actually the most appealing part to me: No Mail. I think I could live in 200 sq. ft if I was never bothered with another piece of mail for the rest of my life. Just something to think about….

We did do one thing that was completely wild and crazy last night. We slept in the guest room.

I know this sounds strange but it was our effort at creating a mini vacation away from the clutter. With a child and two cats there is always crap in our room no matter how often I clean. The guest room is tranquil. It’s like being in a far away land where messes don’t exist. I am VERY type A and my version of Heaven involves a very clean, almost sterile, environment. No one is ever in the guest room. It’s clean and cold and oh so quiet. It also has a queen bed, which is nice on OCCASSION. I wouldn’t want to commit to one in the master, but sure is nice when you want a rare night of togetherness.

So that was our big night out.

As I’m typing this I’m starting to feel like my husband has really been slighted and deserves to have a night out on the town. I’m going to suck it up. ¬†Tonight we are gonna do it big. I may even blow dry my hair. And take shots.Then do God knows what else.

Parents night out, take two….