Going Bananas…

Holy sh*t, Mondays are hard. I hate to start a blog as a rant because Moms and supposed to be happy and handle things gracefully and keep their complaining to a minimum. Especially a Mom with ONLY one child. What could be so hard about taking care of one sweet, beautiful, 4 year old? I will tell you what….he’s completely off the reservation. Like beyond psychotic. Sometimes he loves bananas, other times he throws himself on the ground because they are yellow. One week he has to sleep with his favorite crocodile “Sunny” and the next week I have to dispose of “said stuffed animal” because he’s trying to chomp chomp chomp him in his sleep. He is constantly telling me not to look at him but when I walk out of the room he throws a level 5 tantrum. I seriously cannot keep up. One minute there’s hugs and the next minute I’m getting toys thrown at my head from across the room. I am living in an insane asylum and the patients are running it.

I used to love Mondays when I had a job. It was my little break after my weekends of being in “full-on Mom mode.” I would drop my son off at school, go to work and get about a 6 hour mental vacation. I could breathe a sigh of relief and get a much needed break from being Mom.

Not that a person needs a break from being a Mom.

You know what…. YES. They absolutely do. And I’m not ashamed to say it. Even with my ONLY one child, I need a break sometimes.

This scenario isn’t the case anymore. When I lost my job we decided that it wasn’t economical or being a so called “good parent” to send our child to school full time anymore. And what would I do with my time for 40 hours a week while my kids was at school anyway? It felt crappy as a Mom. I should’ve known that I wasn’t thinking clearly and that is was just Mommy guilt ringing in my ear. Never listen to the Mommy guilt!

He is going to be in real school soon enough, I thought to myself, so I will try to enjoy this stent as a SAHM as much as a can. I will soak up every moment with my son. We will go on all sorts of adventures And do DIY projects And have epic playdates at the park. And we do. On Fridays. Fridays are amazing and fun. Fridays are the start of our little “staycation” and they are always a good time. The problem is when Monday rolls around. You see, our school only offers a part-time three day program that is Tuesday Wednesday Thursday so that means I’m home with Carlos on Fridays and Mondays. This sounded great at first because then if we go out of town he isn’t missing any school. We could travel all the time!

HAHA, what a joke.

I didn’t think about the little part of us not being able to leave town because we are on a spending freeze Or the fact that my husband works Fridays and Mondays. Or that this meant there was four days of me being “ON” with no break.

So there you go, this is where the term Mayday Monday came from because after smiling and tending to my child’s every need on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I’m (effing) DONE by Monday. I’m in beast mode. I haven’t showered. I haven’t brushed my teeth. There’s loads of laundry to be done and dirty dishes in the sink. I’m merely hanging on by a thread.

It’s not my son’s fault. He didn’t stand a chance. In fact, he’s not doing anything different than he does any other day of the week. He’s always being, well, a kid. And he’s a wonderful kid. This is a product of my stupidity and not being patient enough to handle my role as a Mom.This is my problem so I’ve decided that I’m going to do something about it. I’m on a mission to kick Mondays in the ass. I will not go down like this. I’m going to regain my composure.

I’m going to finish writing this, take a shower, wash my face and get some freaking dignity.

Then when my child wakes up from his nap I’m going to give him a big hug and take him for ice cream. I’m going to turn this day around.

*The ice cream is really for me because I’m “thinking” about starting the whole 30 tomorrow but he will never know that there were selfish intentions were behind it.

On a sidenote, I thought you might enjoy the texts that I sent to my girlfriends this morning when I was swimming down that black hole. I want to keep it real on this blog and you should know that ALL Moms have a “Mayday Monday”  once in a while. It’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Mine just seem to be a bit more frequent.

So here are my texts:

“We are good. Everyone is healthy and I haven’t overdosed on wine yet.” – that was just partly true

“I’m ready for a drink, I’m drowning. It’s National Margarita Day.”

“Sorry I didn’t answer, I’m in the midst of parenting, FML.”

And last but not least…

“There’s f-ing pee all over my house.”

May your Mondays all turn out fabulous! And Happy Margarita Day!

 

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