Mayday Monday


In my house, “Honey are you on your way home” is code for “Get your ass home, NOW.”  Today was one of those days. In fact, I think I’m just going to start calling all Mondays, “Mayday Monday,” since they always end with a distress call. I cannot believe that I am uttering these words but I think I miss Christmas break. Things did not go smoothly today, to say the least. I’m trying to find more joy in my life so I want to start by saying something positive about today. I got in my car and it was clean. Like dealership clean. My husband had surprised me and had taken my car to get detailed yesterday. I should add as a disclaimer that I may have asked (begged) him quite a few times over the past month but that is neither here nor there.

So there’s my joy, a clean car and a husband who listens, eventually.

Now let’s talk about things that didn’t bring joy to my life today. That would be everything else. The end.

I will fill you in on a couple of the highlights…..

The sitter cancelled last minute so I had to scramble to get my child taken care of at 9 am this morning.  I then went to deliver a huge container of my urine to the Lab Corp because my hormones have been messed up and they wanted to see if anything showed up in my pee. I know, super disgusting. Peeing in a cup for the last 24 hours has been fun, I have to say. You never realize how much you actually pee until you have to hold it in your hand. Every.Single.Time. The real kicker is that you are not allowed to have alcohol or caffeine. That alone, could make anyone borderline psychotic. And it’s me. You don’t take away Momma’s coffee And you sure as hell don’t take away her wine. I’m starting to think that maybe my husband taking my car to get detailed yesterday was just a ploy to get the heck away from me. When I arrived at the lab they couldn’t find the Dr.’s order, so I sat and waited for over an hour. Alone in a room. Just me and my pee.

The irony of the whole day is that when I finally went to pick up my child, he had peed all over his clothes  and blanket during his nap.

So today can piss off, literally, lol.

I’m on my fourth load of laundry and there is no joy in my future. MAYDAY MONDAY.