Kids (and old men) Say the Darndest Thing


I’m always hearing to wait until my child says or does something to really embarrass me in public. Honestly, I always thought people were being dramatic and exaggerating because after all, they are kids, and everything they say and do is super cute anyway? I’m also pretty quick on my feet and it takes a lot to embarrass me so I’ve always thought I could handle most things. If you read this blog, you are aware that I have no shame. I talk about urine. A lot.

My Mom tells a story about me(all the time) when I was four and we were shopping at the grocery store and I pointed and said rather loudly, “Mom, look at that fat lady.” (I wish I could go back in time and teach my 4 year old self about body shaming and bullying but time travel is not available yet.) My Mom said she was so mortified she grabbed me and ran out and left her whole cart full of groceries. Now, if you know my Mom, she is a bit dramatic, so I’ve always thought her story was a bit skewed until today when my child embarrassed the hell out of me.

My family has been passing around some nasty little bug for about a month and it finally hit me and my husband with a vengeance this week. My husband is not one to ever go to the Dr. but he was begging today so we all went, like one happy little family. We sat down in the cramped waiting room of 2o plus people which was DEAD silent. My son started talking and talking like his usual self which most people find very cute and endearing. He turns to me and at the top of the lungs, I kid you not, he says, “Mommy are you going to get another big shot in your bootie?” Everyone turned to look at us and some VERY bold man in front of me said, “Did he just say boobies?” I am sure at this point I was beet red. I was mortified. I should add that my husband pretended to play on his phone because he had no clue what to do and was beyond uncomfortable. Way to have my back, buddy. I will be getting him back for that one later:)

So I had two choices. I could get up, grab my purse and run out or I could just own the situation. I looked at my kid then the guy straight in the face and said, “No sir, he said BOOTIE. I got a shot in my ASS yesterday.”

The whole room laughed. The guy had this huge grin on his face. It was classic.

It was one of those moments that just sort of sums up parenting.

I was telling my friend this story and she totally upstaged me and said her child says, “My mom isn’t wearing any underwear” when she is trying on pants and tells people that her mom “Gets these weird shots in her forehead” SO it could be worse.

Never a dull moment over here…….