New Year, New Us

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When I think about 2015, all I can really say is , “You can kiss my big, untoned, white ass.”

This year has been horrible. The worst year of my entire life and trust me, I have had some rough ones. Divorce, a miserable pregnancy, and severe post-pardum issues don’t even begin to compare to the load of crap that my family and I were handed this year.

We lost my Grandma, my uncle, and our baby girl when I was 18 weeks pregnant. My father in law was placed in the ICU with multiple blood clots and could’ve easily died. To add to the devastation, there was also a huge down turn in the Oil & Gas industry so I lost my job. Things have been hard to say the least.

Change after change. One traumatic event after another.

The pain runs deep. The emotions run strong. But I sit here and think, we made it through the storm and that is all that matters.

For some reason the Lord wanted to test us this year and we passed. We may have lost a lot but we still have each other and for that I’m forever grateful.

So, I’m ready to start fresh with a new perspective and a clean slate. I have learned, more than ever, how precious life is and how it can be taken in an instant. Losing our baby girl was the most painful thing I have ever experienced but I know in my heart of hearts that she is in a better place than she would’ve been on earth and that peace is what keeps me going.

Losing my uncle unexpectedly was also very hard. He was taken from us well before his time. So many questions that will never be answered. I do know that for some reason God needed him in Heaven more than we needed him here. Many times death has no real explanation and I think that is what is hard to process.

I’ve also learned that what you thought you were going to do with your life isn’t always what God has in store. I’m writing now and that is something I’ve always loved to do but never had the time. There is always a reason for our struggles, even though we cannot always see it at the time.

I want to thank all of the people who stuck by me through the pain. The ones who sat in the trenches with me as my life crumbled into pieces and kept reminding me of all the blessings that I did have. I think in times of pain you really learn who your “people” are and I am beyond lucky to have mine. I also want to thank my husband for letting me be a basket case and never disqualifying my feelings or need for space. He just loved me and we survived, together.

So, needless to say, I’m beyond excited to say goodbye to 2015.

Cheers to 2016….. I’m ready to kick ass and take names.

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